Everyone got swept up in destiny. Whereas Cloud wished to be different and special, Sephiroth always felt that way and wanted to be normal. Not a borderline outcast. Not a stranger standing outside looking in on everyone else.
Finding out the truth simply gave him justification for how he felt all along.
His gaze snaps back to Cloud, but it's not hard it's questioning. "Why? What have you done to be in need of forgiveness?"
Well, other than killing him, but he doubts that Cloud needed to forgive himself over that. As much as hate filled his spirit over what happened. Over his death, how someone who did not seem to share his strength. A lowly infantryman took him down. And then later again. But Cloud is not as originally believed. Not a failure to be tossed aside as Hojo thought. He's Sephiroth's perfect foil. The only one who can truly match his strength.
While in the lifestream his thoughts always went back to Cloud. Even here, now it's still the same. Is that why Cloud is getting to him so much?
Cloud's returned gaze is sullen, even annoyed. You really have to ask? He doesn't want to talk failures and struggles with the person responsible for causing them. But then... that's just it, in a way. He had to forgive himself because of his issues, not because of what Sephiroth did. Clearly, he has the strength to stand up to him now. But he didn't before. He didn't when it mattered.
"I just wasn't strong enough," is all he eventually allows himself to answer with, for a moment. Not strong enough to save Aerith or even Zack. Not strong enough to do something about the struggle for the Planet until it was essentially too late. Not strong enough to understand that there wasn't ever anything he could do to change things in the first place. If any of this could've been prevented, it would have been. And yet... still. "Not strong enough to face reality. Now... it's a little too real."
Cloud did become strong. Whether through his hatred or pure determination to save his friends didn't matter. He bested Sephiroth not once but three times. No one else could even come close to claiming such a feat. It was odd to look back at it now. Even when he attempted to control him or convince him of being nothing more than an empty puppet, he still broke free. None of the other clones could.
"Our experiences make us strong. For better or worse. Without them we would not be who we are now. Whether that is good or bad, well ... that depends on how you view it." He thinks back to everything he learned (thanks to Zack). About changing the timeline. About what that really means. For him. For Cloud. For all of it.
His head dips down and he leans forward slightly.
"The only reason I did not disappear is you. My ability to survive in the lifestream. My strength to come back. It all revolves around you. I knew that even if I lost my memories to the lifestream ... even if I lost myself. I could find it all again just as long as even a small part of your consciousness remembers who I am. You are the core of my existence. I suppose in a way, that is why we are having this conversation now."
"Is that supposed to be comforting?" Cloud mutters. Guess maybe that's fair. His advice wasn't particularly helpful, either, but at least he's not responsible for the persisting presence of the biggest threat to this planet coming back over and over and over again. Like a bad cold.
Sephiroth leans forward and Cloud glances up, rolls his eyes, and then pushes at his shoulder to tip him right back over onto the bed again. It really doesn't take much of a shove. It's weird to see Sephiroth so flimsy. He probably should be gentler, but tell that to the dumb shit he just said.
Unfortunately for Cloud, he's mostly his bad cold.
Before Sephiroth can open his mouth to say anything more he's shoved back down again. Really. Does this seriously need to keep happening? Cloud's been bossing him around since he got here and ... Yeah he really only has himself to blame for that.
Sleep is probably a good idea. Give his wounds more time to heal. The turks probably won't attempt to jump him here, not with Cloud around.
"It's been a very enlightening conversation ... Cloud," at least when he says that he closes his eyes.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Finding out the truth simply gave him justification for how he felt all along.
His gaze snaps back to Cloud, but it's not hard it's questioning. "Why? What have you done to be in need of forgiveness?"
Well, other than killing him, but he doubts that Cloud needed to forgive himself over that. As much as hate filled his spirit over what happened. Over his death, how someone who did not seem to share his strength. A lowly infantryman took him down. And then later again. But Cloud is not as originally believed. Not a failure to be tossed aside as Hojo thought. He's Sephiroth's perfect foil. The only one who can truly match his strength.
While in the lifestream his thoughts always went back to Cloud. Even here, now it's still the same. Is that why Cloud is getting to him so much?
no subject
"I just wasn't strong enough," is all he eventually allows himself to answer with, for a moment. Not strong enough to save Aerith or even Zack. Not strong enough to do something about the struggle for the Planet until it was essentially too late. Not strong enough to understand that there wasn't ever anything he could do to change things in the first place. If any of this could've been prevented, it would have been. And yet... still. "Not strong enough to face reality. Now... it's a little too real."
no subject
"Our experiences make us strong. For better or worse. Without them we would not be who we are now. Whether that is good or bad, well ... that depends on how you view it." He thinks back to everything he learned (thanks to Zack). About changing the timeline. About what that really means. For him. For Cloud. For all of it.
His head dips down and he leans forward slightly.
"The only reason I did not disappear is you. My ability to survive in the lifestream. My strength to come back. It all revolves around you. I knew that even if I lost my memories to the lifestream ... even if I lost myself. I could find it all again just as long as even a small part of your consciousness remembers who I am. You are the core of my existence. I suppose in a way, that is why we are having this conversation now."
no subject
Sephiroth leans forward and Cloud glances up, rolls his eyes, and then pushes at his shoulder to tip him right back over onto the bed again. It really doesn't take much of a shove. It's weird to see Sephiroth so flimsy. He probably should be gentler, but tell that to the dumb shit he just said.
"Shut up and go to sleep."
no subject
Before Sephiroth can open his mouth to say anything more he's shoved back down again. Really. Does this seriously need to keep happening? Cloud's been bossing him around since he got here and ... Yeah he really only has himself to blame for that.
Sleep is probably a good idea. Give his wounds more time to heal. The turks probably won't attempt to jump him here, not with Cloud around.
"It's been a very enlightening conversation ... Cloud," at least when he says that he closes his eyes.