Would you believe me if I said it made this worse?
[While Cloud was gone, though it was not for a lengthy time, he ventured into his own thoughts. Going over everything he knew trying to find some sort of path that'd lead away from ... whatever this is. The horrible twisting pain that dug in deeper than any blade. But he realized as the minutes ticked by, the worse his infliction grew.
He practically counted the seconds before Cloud returned. He hates to admit it, even now, there is some sort of strange relief. It is laced with an inescapable tightness and dread. Like he's facing some sort of impossible wall that just wants to crumble on top of him. But he can't figure out what it all means. Maybe he's looking at it wrong. Maybe that's why for this moment, he'll continue to given in to Cloud a little more. He's lost, without answers, and in many ways powerless.
However, he does push himself up, just a little. That's all he can manage right at the moment, he probably needs more rest. He's sure Cloud finds the state he's in as pathetic as he does.]
But I still do not believe this is Geostigma. If the planet wanted disperse me there are other ways. Why does it feel like I need to be here with you? Why haven't you killed me?
[He wishes he would, though again he's not sure that'd really do anything to fix this. He feels like it'd just make it all worse, though he's not sure how he knows that. It's just a feeling. Maybe a wrong one. Maybe right.
He's not sure why he felt compelled to ask as though Cloud's answer will give resolution to anything else. Still it's there and he can't exactly take it back now.]
no subject
[While Cloud was gone, though it was not for a lengthy time, he ventured into his own thoughts. Going over everything he knew trying to find some sort of path that'd lead away from ... whatever this is. The horrible twisting pain that dug in deeper than any blade. But he realized as the minutes ticked by, the worse his infliction grew.
He practically counted the seconds before Cloud returned. He hates to admit it, even now, there is some sort of strange relief. It is laced with an inescapable tightness and dread. Like he's facing some sort of impossible wall that just wants to crumble on top of him. But he can't figure out what it all means. Maybe he's looking at it wrong. Maybe that's why for this moment, he'll continue to given in to Cloud a little more. He's lost, without answers, and in many ways powerless.
However, he does push himself up, just a little. That's all he can manage right at the moment, he probably needs more rest. He's sure Cloud finds the state he's in as pathetic as he does.]
But I still do not believe this is Geostigma. If the planet wanted disperse me there are other ways. Why does it feel like I need to be here with you? Why haven't you killed me?
[He wishes he would, though again he's not sure that'd really do anything to fix this. He feels like it'd just make it all worse, though he's not sure how he knows that. It's just a feeling. Maybe a wrong one. Maybe right.
He's not sure why he felt compelled to ask as though Cloud's answer will give resolution to anything else. Still it's there and he can't exactly take it back now.]