[being an adult with adult responsibilities sucked, but it's the kind of life cloud expected—without realizing—that he would fall into. it surprised many, to be sure, that he would be the first of his group of friends to get married in the first place. it surprised cloud, too, until he found himself with a towering angel monster in his home, a result of a not-so-seriously-totally-joking summoning spell he had tried out for the heck of it over one desperate night studying for an exam.]
[and now here he was, with a husband who... looked completely human, for all intents and purposes, but had some definite strange quirks.]
[love at first sight? not exactly. but there's endearment there that can't be denied, even if sephiroth isn't exactly a real people person.]
[he flips the light switch—and startles... before ultimately relaxing.]
Again?
[cloud sighs as he closes the door of his apartment behind him, after recovering from the mini-heart attack at the sight before him. it's been five years and sephiroth still manages to cling to the monster-aspect of his existence (the whole 'torment' and 'making others fear me' urge), having apparently stood still in complete darkness in the middle of the room, wing spread, waiting for cloud's return.]
I told you not to do that.
[but there's no real anger in his voice, removing his jacket and setting it on the back of the couch, heading towards the counter to put down the takeout he went out to fetch.]
[He's an angel from another realm of existence. Sort of an angel. It's complicated. And so this whole appears out of no where being a creeper just goes along with that sort of thing.
And the wing? Well, that's never really going away.
Except when Cloud complains enough, such as when they go out. Humans should fear him. That is his birthright!
If not for the whole summoning situation that got him into this mess he'd be out there tormenting everyone! Probably setting a few towns on fire. You know, monster things.]
You're late.
[He says evenly and heads to pick through the takeout, nudging Cloud with his wing as he passes. One of the few good things about this -- the food. And as long as Cloud keeps bringing him stuff like this, Sephiroth will be content with this whole weird situation the two have found themselves in.]
So then tell me, what is the whole truth? We can speak circles around each other until the end of time, but unless you know something I do not, then this conversation is meaningless.
The pain that flows across his body is almost too much to bear. Was he dying? He can't tell anymore. He's not sure he even cares. But he also is not going to die by anything Tseng had done. No. Not him.
Only one person even deserves that honor. Only one person --
Cloud. The voice may echo through the mind of the other man due to bond that is always between them thanks to the jenova cells coursing through both of their bodies. The call is distant, not as commanding usual.
Seeking out the blonde is not too difficult. He can always find him if he really wants to. When he reaches Cloud's location, he lands a short distance away looking very bloody, broken yet somehow still standing. He considers drawing his weapon and forcing a battle. Get Cloud to just end all the pain. But even that seems like too much of a chore at the moment.
"Hello, Cloud," he sounds as even as usual though the words are very strained like it took a lot of effort to produce them.
He manages one step forward before his body finally gives out and he collapses in front of the blonde hero, blood slowly pouring from the many wounds inflicted on his body and staining the ground beneath him. As much as he wants to rise back up and look directly into those blue eyes, he can't seem to find the strength.
Cloud's staying in what can loosely be called where he "lives", in the part of Midgar that's now been apportioned to Edge. It's what he's most familiar with anymore, and where he feels more comfortable, so it works. Hearing Sephiroth's voice in his head is nothing new. Sensing his presence, knowing things... there's just nothing he can do anymore to fight it. When he hears that call, he doesn't understand it for what it is. All he thinks is that he should prepare, because Sephiroth's voice doesn't resound in his head like that unless he's on his way.
So he steps outside, takes his sword with him, and waits.
And sure enough. Here Sephiroth comes, and Cloud waits for the confrontation, scowling, wondering what now? and hoping maybe if he thinks it hard enough Sephiroth can hear it the way he can hear Sephiroth's call when he doesn't want to. But he wouldn't know the first thing about that.
And anyway, it doesn't matter. It hardly takes a second or two longer for him to realize something is wrong. Very, very wrong. Sephiroth is battered and bloody and looking in a way Cloud's only ever seen him once. In all the times they've ever fought each other, even when he did his worst, Sephiroth never looked like this. That alone shocks him, and he can't imagine who in the world could've done such a thing outside of him. His mouth opens and hangs that way for a long moment. Right up until Sephiroth looks up at him. Then his insides twist with a series of overpowering feelings: satisfaction, alarm, sympathy. Guilt, frustration. He hesitates. And then he kneels down.
[Much time had passed since their last encounter -- well, that's not exactly true. It was more like days, a week at most. But it felt longer. Not that time really has much meaning to him these. It barely meant anything while existing as a free spirit in the lifestream. Here and now, while being in a more tangible form, it almost feels like it's slowed to a crawl. Or perhaps its moving too fast. He can't tell anymore. Which is why he left.
Though that was entirely unfair to Cloud. Slipping away without a word after their ... moment.
He needed to re-evaluate himself. His plans. His goals. Put everything that shattered back together. But it seems like no matter how he tries, the pieces won't quite fit. He's not sure where he stands. Not anymore.
It's not even about what happened. Rather how Cloud managed to worm his way through all those walls and poke at parts of himself (his humanity?) that he forget even still existed. He probably didn't even mean to. He was probably just as lost in the moment as Sephiroth. And that's all.
And Sephiorth has no idea why he's so distracted. He's lost his focus. And now he's standing in the empty place Cloud's currently staying at and wondering what exactly he's doing. Other than waiting for Cloud to return.
That and staring out the window. Not really looking at anything in particular though he did lock eyes with a random stray cat as it moved by. That's what he feels like. Some sort of lost stray. He's out of his own time into this one. His purpose slipping away, falling into a pool of racing thoughts. Too distorted and confusing to understand. It was almost like the time at the Shinra Mansion when he consumed so much information that his mind couldn't handle it -- not that he'd ever admit to that part. This time only it's his own thoughts and possibly emotions that are threatening to overwhelm him.
But it'll be fine. Just as he uses Cloud to define himself, he'll use him to refocus and reaffirm why he's in this time period. What he hoped to achieve in his attempt to defy destiny. He's already halfway there. Surely all he needs is a reminder.
And not a distraction ... so maybe he should leave before Cloud returns from following the trail of this time period's Sephiroth. Events are still similarly playing out similar to before as far as he can tell. And Sephiroth slightly wonders if Cloud has realized everything that's going on. He's seen visions of the future and ran directly into fate ... If he hasn't he'll figure it out eventually.
While it's not doubt that rushes over his core, it is the previous uncertainty he felt earlier. Again, what is he doing here waiting restlessly? It's almost as though the blond has some sort of hold over him and he almost wants to claw at himself for feeling anything at all. At least he doesn't look restless as he stands almost as still a statue. He really should go. Really should. Though by the time he turns from the window it's probably already too late.]
[ It's a ridiculous thing to think, but there is a part of him that wonders if it will all go away, now, if the fight is over, now, if Sephiroth is gone.
Maybe that's all Sephiroth wanted, after all. He got it, whatever it was, got him to break down enough to even think of having those hands on his body, touching him like they belonged, like the fantasies he may have had as a youth thinking of the great hero of Wutai and how amazing it must be to have Sephiroth's attention, how it would have felt to have known him, to have mustered up the courage to talk to him.
It's funny, really, because he can imagine that part of himself so clearly: that he went to SOLDIER to become just like him, that he admired him to a fault, that he might have even thought him something beautiful and untouchable, an idol that he could have never had to himself. And that much, sure, he can rely on--but after that, any memories of his training, his grunt work, even the circumstances of his bump up to First: he can't remember them at all. It's just some hazy clump of memories that stick together, haphazard, like they don't quite fit. Like they don't quite belong. And there's some stubborn part of him that says don't question it, just let it go.
So he doesn't question it. He continues on, like they're still in pursuit of Sephiroth. He doesn't tell anyone what happened, or what he thinks might happen, or that they may very well be on a fool's mission at this point. He shies away from the perceptive way that the girls look at him, or how Barret insists they truck along and keep their heads up. He acts how he always has: cold and aloof, retreating back to his room at the brink of the evening to catch up on his sleep.
And, naturally, who's standing there, when he opens the door? It's startling enough that he reaches for the hilt of the buster sword, gripping it firmly; he doesn't want to cause any disturbance, to anyone else, doesn't want anyone to know the trouble that's landed itself into his room again. He comes in, shuts the door, and narrows his eyes in on the man standing there, nearly too tall for the room at all. ]
What do you want?
[ It's not quite as venomous as it should be--and maybe that's because it's so easy to remember how it felt to kiss him, to lay there in the sheets and fall asleep pressed up against each other; or the embarrassing, shameful disappointment upon waking up alone. He doesn't let go of the sword, strapped to his back, doesn't close the distance, either. ]
Time ended up passing far more quickly than Sephiroth originally intended. Not that he can control time, but rather he did not expect to spend so much of it around his greatest nemesis.
Can he even call him that now?
Sure, the Cloud that was, is probably still buried somewhere beyond the shell that almost is an empty puppet this time around, but at the same time there's no animosity between them. Sephiroth still harbors a lot of intense feelings, but they're mostly caught in an unfamiliar whirlwind. This has left him distracted from his original goal.
It'd be easy to simply dispatch Cloud. End this. Go back to what he planned. But at the same time that's not at all what he wants. He tells himself it's because he wants Cloud to witness the end in all its glory, and what better irony than to have him at his side when it happens?
Yet he hasn't made any progress in his original plans either. He doesn't know why, but somehow that doesn't bother him as much as it should.
Instead the two of them are now standing in an open field, both brandishing weapons but without the intention of murdering one another. That's another form of irony all together.
But again he tells himself he needs to make sure Cloud keeps his strength. Give him the training (or at get his body to remember) on how to fight. Cloud is also very lucky that Sephiroth took his sword along with taking him originally.
"Do you remember what I showed you?"
In all honesty, Sephiroth has missed fighting. It's one of the few things he's always enjoyed. And Cloud is one of the few with the strength to match him head on. Of course, at the moment he'll have to go easy despite the temptation.
Life is odd. They're different, Sephiroth has explained, which means they're hunted. Unfortunately, it requires they move from place to place on occasion, not exactly often enough to be wanderers but often enough that no one house has felt like home. Cloud doesn't, can't, know it's because his friends eventually hone in. Instead of waiting to find them, he packs up beside a man that was once an enemy but that can no longer bear the title, not without those memories.
They're in a new place, a new 'home'. Time is limited here as well, Cloud knows, but they'll make the most of it. They train, they talk, Sephiroth disappears to do whatever he has to do, but he always comes back. At first, Cloud was full of questions, but they tapered off over time, as familiarity and a sense of realization settled in. This is his life, and nothing he's tried has been able to restore his memory.
It isn't a bad existence, even with the constant motion. It would be, if he'd been alone or with someone else, but Sephiroth has proven to be good company. Cloud's lucky to have someone so dedicated by his side. To save him, nurse him, and patiently answer his questions must be a chore, but it seems like Sephiroth doesn't falter. It's little wonder they've become close.
Today, they're training. Cloud's somewhat out of practice, but he can already feel his body remembering things his mind wishes it could recall. No matter; it can't, and so he has to learn it over again. Standing in front of Sephiroth, sword in front of him, Cloud has to marvel at the ease in which he can lift it. It's obvious he was an athletic man, but he also isn't especially tall or broad, and the sword is impressive in its size.
"Hands on the hilt, move with confidence. If you hesitate, you're giving the enemy a chance to move in. Strike with conviction, right?"
[Sephiroth can't even begin to understand how he came to be in this situation. How Cloud managed to not only convince him that this is a good idea, but also get him into a different set of clothing. He supposes it was the younger man's relentless insistence on this being a good idea that eventually made him give in, but whose to say really?
So here he is, standing on a beach, wearing swim trunks while waiting for Cloud to pick a spot to place all this stuff he somehow managed to make him carry. All while wondering what has become of his life to end up like this.
When Cloud first suggested the idea, Sephiroth dismissed it right away. He fails to understand the point. But apparently this is something humans do for entertainment. He eventually reluctantly agreed, though as he stands here, he can't say he understands why anyone enjoys this. There's sand, water, and a hot sun. Sephiroth's gaze trails out from the water to farther down the beach where there's a few people lounging while others swim. One of those things can be done indoors so again why are they here?
At least they're in an area mostly alone and don't have to worry about anyone dying pestering him.]
[ Honestly, Cloud can barely believe he managed to convince Sephiroth to agree to this. He still doesn't know if it's a good idea, but he had told Sephiroth he would show him what it's like to be a regular person, to show him that there's more to life than destruction and death.
So he does have to consider it a success that Sephiroth's agreed to this, even if it feels strange (and maybe even a bit wrong) to bring him out among people like this. He could be recognized, which would not be great, and is a big part of the reason why he's made sure they're sitting far away from other people. And why Cloud insisted Sephiroth wear sunglasses. To hide those unique eyes. The hair, well... he can't do much about that. He's not about to ask Sephiroth to get a haircut. He has a feeling that suggestion would just lead to his own death.
Finally, he finds a good spot to set up. He's brought towels, two beach chairs and umbrellas, along with some food, drink and sunscreen. He sets it all up so they can sit in the chairs in the shade of the umbrellas.
Sephiroth's question is met with a low snort. ]
We just got here. I dunno, as long as we feel like it?
[The series of events that lead up to the current situation can best be described as unexpected, unusual, and perhaps just plain absurd. Years prior no one would have expected the three of them to end up living in the outskirts of Midgar -- especially with two of the residents supposedly dead.
One of which could probably get away with being around since not many knew of his death. The other? Well, he kept coming back to try and destroy the planet. That is the primary reason they are near the city, but not in it.
That and leaving Sephiroth near people is not the best idea. He might be calmer (slightly) about it now, but his dislike of humanity hasn't wavered much. Fortunately for the rest of the world, Cloud and Zack are both around to keep him in his place. Unfortunately for Sephiroth they do, indeed, do just that.
So instead of plotting the destruction of all life in a quest to become god, Sephiroth sits on the couch eyeing the news reports rambling on the television and wondering to himself why he isn't just killing everyone. He also has his hand on the remote to prevent anyone (Zack) from attempting to change the channel to something stupid. Of course the news is also stupid so in the end it's probably a moot point.
But if Sephiroth can't have control of the planet, he can at least control this. And so he shall.]
Given enough time, humanity will eliminate themselves.
[This is just random, idle, commentary given about in response to what he's watching. It doesn't matter if anyone cares, they're still going to get to hear his opinion anyway.]
[ It's definitely a strange situation the three of them find themselves in. Zack's return had been even more unexpected than Sephiroth's, but definitely something he had been much happier about. Once he got over the shock anyway.
It had been a joint decision to keep an eye on Sephiroth after he returned yet again. Neither of them had been particularly eager to end up in an endless cycle of killing him, only for him to come back again. So this had seemed like the better option. Trying to tame the beast, so to speak, and so far it's worked surprisingly well.
They still don't tend to bring him around other people much. Only Cloud's closest friends even know about it.
There's definitely something both surreal and amusing about having Sephiroth seated on the couch, hogging the remote like a dragon protecting his hoard all the while muttering about all of humanity's faults.
Zack tries not to laugh. He really does, but it's difficult not to when Sephiroth is being so ridiculous. He manages to keep it to an amused snort, which causes Cloud's lips to twitch a little.
Finally, Zack turns to the silver-haired man. ]
C'mon, Seph. Are you even watching this?
[ It's easier for Zack to fall into a kind of familiarity with Sephiroth considering their past friendship. Cloud, with all the memories that aren't his own, understands it, but he definitely hasn't gotten to the nickname-stage. Probably never will in all honesty.
Cloud decides instead to respond to Sephiroth's muttered comment in a rather sarcastic fashion. ]
[He knew something was off, the knew this long before he managed to manifest himself onto the planet's surface. There was something wrong. Like a force curling around his essence and threatening to choke it out. He thought it to be the lifestream, once again trying to reclaim his spirit. He wouldn't let it win, of course, but as soon as he was physical again the feeling didn't go away.
That is a problem. One he, at first, tries to ignore. Though any plans he once held washed away with the tightness in his chest that grew increasingly worse laced with a foreign pain. Pain is something he can deal with. Something he knows how to both inflect and tolerate a great deal, but then the petals came --
Pouring out of his mouth onto his palm before spilling to the ground. His initial thoughts were anger. Did she have something to do with this? Is she responsible for this pain?
Those thoughts are what brings him to the church. Sure, it's also a spot connected to Cloud, but that's only a side note at the moment. This area is also close to the lifestream and if he could reach through it to strike her down again, he would. But he can't exactly do that. She is already dead and they can't really do anything to each other in the lifestream. Still --]
You--
[Before he can say another word, the tightness in his chest returns, which he grasps at this time before dropping down to his knees near the pool of water. More petals spill from his mouth, almost blending in with the flowers that bloom in the area. Curse her and this place. She's at fault. She has to be.
Maybe he should find Cloud. Put an end to this -- whatever this ailment is -- before it keeps getting worse. Though he's not even sure how well he'll even be able to fight if another coughing spell comes on. He's stubborn enough to try, but ... then again, will this even go away if he dies?
Either way he makes the decision to get up and to seek out his nemesis, though with how he feels he's almost tempted to call him to this place instead of attempting to move. He reminds himself that he can deal with pain, even if it keeps getting stronger. Though it takes some effort, he places a hand on a church pew and uses that to push himself up so that he's at least sitting on that instead of being on the ground.
This is terrible, and awful. ... But he's going to take a few minutes to collecdt himself and then go seek out Cloud.]
[ In the end, every day tends to take him back to the same place: to the large, ornate doors that still stand, despite the damage to the building, the large knockers a cold comfort in the grip of his gloved hands, to the place filled with flowers that no longer have the girl around to tend to them, to a place that's ruled by a lonely silence in place of laughter and warmth.
The church is one of the only safe places where he can go--and that's because it fills him with such a gnawing, aching burden of guilt that he knows he belongs there, that he knows he has to be there, to soak up the pain and the overwhelming burn of it all. It's safer than being in Seventh Heaven, safer than being out on the road, safer than sleeping in knotted-up tents in the plains or finding safety under the broken buildings and shelters out along the bike paths, the dirt and the grass worn down to make deliveries easier. He knows, in the back of his head, that he's only making things worse: he knows that Tifa worries about him, that she calls him not only to give him updates but to get updates from him, that Denzel and Marlene wonder when he'll be home next or what he'll be bringing with him. Even separated from the rest of their friends, they too worry, and wonder; Cid comes by more often than most, demanding his company at the bar, and Yuffie helpfully dumps more and more materia in the bin in the church, using it as an excuse to see him. He can't tell them that he deserves to be alone: he can't tell them that this is the one place that he has to be, the place that, rightfully, reminds him of what a failure he is, of everything he couldn't be and everything he wanted to.
When he opens the doors, that day, it's like any other: back from his deliveries, he's here to check on the flowers that seem to grow despite all of his poor efforts to help them, flowers that spring up from the large hole in the middle of the planks and now, needing more space to claim, peek up from some of the floorboards as though hoping for the room to exist, the room to spring to life. He should see about tearing up some more of them: let the whole of the church be overtaken in the blossoms that spared his life, and Zack's, long ago, both pillowed by them from their large falls. The air is different, somehow, strange and muddied; he tries to take a breath and feels it fail, his lungs clenching, stomach twisting in discomfort. Something in him calls to something else, here, something lurking, dangerous, and painful: something that is seated at one of the first pews, folded there as though it, too, is here to pay a certain penance to the earth.
But how could--
Those are questions that he doesn't ask, anymore. Even after Meteorfall, even in the aftermath, with the sudden emergence of the illness that's taking down those that don't deserve it, the children who shouldn't suffer, he had known, somewhere, that it couldn't, wouldn't be over. Someone like that wouldn't just disappear after a battle, however hard-won, wouldn't just sink into the Lifestream and be forgotten, or forget about his own desires.
It doesn't make it any easier to see him, though. The long length of his hair, the pristine, untouched look of his armor. One of his hands grapples at his back--the Buster Sword isn't there, anymore, and he feels almost naked without it. It's perched in the dirt on the hill, still, overlooking the ruins of a city that Zack will never see. ]
You don't belong here.
[ It's quiet, laced with anger--but tired, so tired, as the church doors fall into place behind him. Perhaps this is another nightmare? Another delusion? ]
[Sometimes Sephiroth wonders if the company is purposely keeping him busy. He's aware of all the various disputes and other conflicts that pop up, plus how many SOLDIERs were lost due to ... Genesis, but surely some of these missions don't need to be handled by him. He doesn't particularly mind what he's usually called to do, but he also hadn't crossed paths with Zack for sometime ...
And that's what he wonders about the most. Does Shinra fear another abandonment? If they keep the two of them busy enough they won't have time to consider other things?
He's not sure when all these doubts started. It might have been sometime after the loss of Genesis and Angeal. It might have been sometime before. He remembers when that Avalanche leader questioned what he fights for. He couldn't answer her then, could he even do that now?
When the news of Zack's return to the area reaches him, the first thing he does is go to seek him out. A momentary distraction, though those previous thoughts still weigh heavily in his mind. Though in all honesty, Zack might be the only person still within Shinra's walls that Sephiroth actually trusts. Not that he's ever let many people in close, with Zack it just sort of happened. He managed to seep through the cracks before Sephiroth even noticed and now it's too late.
When he finds the younger man, he makes it a point o walk up behind him almost too silently for a man of his stature. Because no matter what, even if he doesn't mean too, he still manages to loom.]
[after Modeoheim and Icicle Inn and the failure that was his leave in Costa Del Sol, Zack knows he's being kept busy. Angeal dead, Genesis supposedly dead, two other SOLDIERs dead and Lazard gone - Zack isn't stupid. At first, he naively thought maybe it was because they knew that taking a break for someone who doesn't take breaks is a bad idea. That maybe they knew he'd rather jump into other missions, rather than sit and mourn. But it doesn't feel that way at all, now that he's in the swing of things again, and it feels off.
For all that being SOLDIER was his dream, to be a hero, he's not so blinded by it that he doesn't see the faults, either. There's a price that comes with it all; he's already seen it paid with Angeal, with Essai and Sebastian. He can't tell if he's paying it too, watching it all happen. Or maybe he's paying it by not being able to do a damn thing to stop it.
The only reason Sephiroth catches Zack still and not a bundle of nerves and energy pacing all over is that he's stopped to look at his phone and check his messages and missions. There's a frown of concentration on his face, uncharacteristic for someone who always seems to eager. He's muttering to himself, too low to really hear what he's saying, but judging from the pointed way he hits the buttons on his PHS . . . well.
So caught up in it he is that when Sephiroth speaks up, Zack yelps and drops his phone as he whirls around, completely caught off-guard]
Sephiroth! [he puts a hand to his chest and breathes] Geez, you'll give a guy a heart attack sneaking up on him like that . . . [wait] What about my mission?
[It had been several months since they changed housing locations. Well, rather Cloud found a more secluded place and Sephiroth continued to be his stalker. But he also hasn't tried to kick him out yet so why do anything to upset that. Not that Sephiroth would really go away no matter what.
Cloud could just kill him but they both know he'd only come back. So there is little point other than perhaps Cloud's momentary satisfaction.
As a result, at least Sephiroth stays mostly inside while Cloud is doing his ... delivery service or whatever else he does as a job. This is partly because Sephiroth hates people and he shouldn't be around people. He's only slightly housebroken as it is.
While waiting for Cloud to return he on the couch next to a cat that does not belong to them. The two of them watching some show Sephiroth already has decided is the product of human stupidity but has made no effort to change the channel. The cat may or may not agree.]
[ Cloud had wanted to move after that incident with the Turks, but he'd put it off mostly because he hadn't wanted to feel like he was being driven from the one safe space he'd managed to carve out for himself in this weird world. Eventually, Zack had convinced him. Said he'd catch up later. And he'd been reluctant, wondering how long later would be, but... well... it's not like he'd be going alone.
For better or worse.
Take Zack out of the equation and leave Cloud alone with Sephiroth when they aren't actively trying to kill each other, and what do you get? Whatever the hell this is, apparently. They struck some kind of... weird equilibrium. There's a tension without the puppy around to break it up, but animosity seems to come more often in the form of passive aggression if anything. They leave each other to their devices, with the express understanding that Sephiroth's devices are being fucking normal and not killing anybody or trying to destroy the planet or anything like that. There are certain privileges to maintaining that level of good behavior.
Anyway, it's one of those weeks where Cloud comes home tired and irritable and would love nothing more than to take it out on his........ housemate, because seriously, it doesn't matter what his history is, why can this guy not get some kind of fucking job? Not like he has some supersoldier pension he's living on. Some Ultimate Bad Guy savings fund. He's just a freeloader. But the other side of the coin is that Cloud isn't allowed to take his shit out on Sephiroth, so even though he walks in looking put-upon with half his face red from the cold, he doesn't say anything at first. He walks by, unwinding his scarf, and into the bedroom.
He stops and walks back into the living room a second later. Never mind the silent, sullen thing. What the fuck.
His mouth opens.
Is that a cat?
That question doesn't actually come out. Of course it's a cat. He can see it's a cat.
His mouth closes.
What Cloud ends up doing instead is just giving Sephiroth a silent stare that asks so many more questions than just that one, scarf wadded up in his hand. Frankly, he's forgotten about being tired and cranky right this second. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@lux_ex_tenebris
thanks!
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@vanguarda
[. . .]
You could always come clean. I don't think anyone would look down upon you if you tried to fix your mistakes.
Other than Angeal judging your actions, but consequences do happen.
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[mocking as he may sound, zack is in fact considering this brand new option he hadn't even considered before.]
No chance of having you show up to help me out anyway huh?
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You Know
[and now here he was, with a husband who... looked completely human, for all intents and purposes, but had some definite strange quirks.]
[love at first sight? not exactly. but there's endearment there that can't be denied, even if sephiroth isn't exactly a real people person.]
[he flips the light switch—and startles... before ultimately relaxing.]
Again?
[cloud sighs as he closes the door of his apartment behind him, after recovering from the mini-heart attack at the sight before him. it's been five years and sephiroth still manages to cling to the monster-aspect of his existence (the whole 'torment' and 'making others fear me' urge), having apparently stood still in complete darkness in the middle of the room, wing spread, waiting for cloud's return.]
I told you not to do that.
[but there's no real anger in his voice, removing his jacket and setting it on the back of the couch, heading towards the counter to put down the takeout he went out to fetch.]
hell yes
And the wing? Well, that's never really going away.
Except when Cloud complains enough, such as when they go out. Humans should fear him. That is his birthright!
If not for the whole summoning situation that got him into this mess he'd be out there tormenting everyone! Probably setting a few towns on fire. You know, monster things.]
You're late.
[He says evenly and heads to pick through the takeout, nudging Cloud with his wing as he passes. One of the few good things about this -- the food. And as long as Cloud keeps bringing him stuff like this, Sephiroth will be content with this whole weird situation the two have found themselves in.]
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@lapses
So then tell me, what is the whole truth? We can speak circles around each other until the end of time, but unless you know something I do not, then this conversation is meaningless.
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but he isn't about to discuss it in length with him over text. ]
You aren't ready to hear it yet. [ don't we all just hate it when characters beat around the bush? haah. ]
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@yolked
Then you know about as much as the fans. Namely: nothing.
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alternate insusurro thread
Only one person even deserves that honor. Only one person --
Cloud. The voice may echo through the mind of the other man due to bond that is always between them thanks to the jenova cells coursing through both of their bodies. The call is distant, not as commanding usual.
Seeking out the blonde is not too difficult. He can always find him if he really wants to. When he reaches Cloud's location, he lands a short distance away looking very bloody, broken yet somehow still standing. He considers drawing his weapon and forcing a battle. Get Cloud to just end all the pain. But even that seems like too much of a chore at the moment.
"Hello, Cloud," he sounds as even as usual though the words are very strained like it took a lot of effort to produce them.
He manages one step forward before his body finally gives out and he collapses in front of the blonde hero, blood slowly pouring from the many wounds inflicted on his body and staining the ground beneath him. As much as he wants to rise back up and look directly into those blue eyes, he can't seem to find the strength.
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So he steps outside, takes his sword with him, and waits.
And sure enough. Here Sephiroth comes, and Cloud waits for the confrontation, scowling, wondering what now? and hoping maybe if he thinks it hard enough Sephiroth can hear it the way he can hear Sephiroth's call when he doesn't want to. But he wouldn't know the first thing about that.
And anyway, it doesn't matter. It hardly takes a second or two longer for him to realize something is wrong. Very, very wrong. Sephiroth is battered and bloody and looking in a way Cloud's only ever seen him once. In all the times they've ever fought each other, even when he did his worst, Sephiroth never looked like this. That alone shocks him, and he can't imagine who in the world could've done such a thing outside of him. His mouth opens and hangs that way for a long moment. Right up until Sephiroth looks up at him. Then his insides twist with a series of overpowering feelings: satisfaction, alarm, sympathy. Guilt, frustration. He hesitates. And then he kneels down.
"What happened?"
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TFLN Overflow
@atoysoldier
Do you want to find out?
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@giftofthegoddess
he's teasing
ahaha
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@relead
@atoysoldier
Re: @atoysoldier
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@sendmyregards
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@aflowers
1/2
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@makoblue
Cloud's [REDACTED] conquers all - PSL thingy
Though that was entirely unfair to Cloud. Slipping away without a word after their ... moment.
He needed to re-evaluate himself. His plans. His goals. Put everything that shattered back together. But it seems like no matter how he tries, the pieces won't quite fit. He's not sure where he stands. Not anymore.
It's not even about what happened. Rather how Cloud managed to worm his way through all those walls and poke at parts of himself (his humanity?) that he forget even still existed. He probably didn't even mean to. He was probably just as lost in the moment as Sephiroth. And that's all.
And Sephiorth has no idea why he's so distracted. He's lost his focus. And now he's standing in the empty place Cloud's currently staying at and wondering what exactly he's doing. Other than waiting for Cloud to return.
That and staring out the window. Not really looking at anything in particular though he did lock eyes with a random stray cat as it moved by. That's what he feels like. Some sort of lost stray. He's out of his own time into this one. His purpose slipping away, falling into a pool of racing thoughts. Too distorted and confusing to understand. It was almost like the time at the Shinra Mansion when he consumed so much information that his mind couldn't handle it -- not that he'd ever admit to that part. This time only it's his own thoughts and possibly emotions that are threatening to overwhelm him.
But it'll be fine. Just as he uses Cloud to define himself, he'll use him to refocus and reaffirm why he's in this time period. What he hoped to achieve in his attempt to defy destiny. He's already halfway there. Surely all he needs is a reminder.
And not a distraction ... so maybe he should leave before Cloud returns from following the trail of this time period's Sephiroth. Events are still similarly playing out similar to before as far as he can tell. And Sephiroth slightly wonders if Cloud has realized everything that's going on. He's seen visions of the future and ran directly into fate ... If he hasn't he'll figure it out eventually.
While it's not doubt that rushes over his core, it is the previous uncertainty he felt earlier. Again, what is he doing here waiting restlessly? It's almost as though the blond has some sort of hold over him and he almost wants to claw at himself for feeling anything at all. At least he doesn't look restless as he stands almost as still a statue. He really should go. Really should. Though by the time he turns from the window it's probably already too late.]
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Maybe that's all Sephiroth wanted, after all. He got it, whatever it was, got him to break down enough to even think of having those hands on his body, touching him like they belonged, like the fantasies he may have had as a youth thinking of the great hero of Wutai and how amazing it must be to have Sephiroth's attention, how it would have felt to have known him, to have mustered up the courage to talk to him.
It's funny, really, because he can imagine that part of himself so clearly: that he went to SOLDIER to become just like him, that he admired him to a fault, that he might have even thought him something beautiful and untouchable, an idol that he could have never had to himself. And that much, sure, he can rely on--but after that, any memories of his training, his grunt work, even the circumstances of his bump up to First: he can't remember them at all. It's just some hazy clump of memories that stick together, haphazard, like they don't quite fit. Like they don't quite belong. And there's some stubborn part of him that says don't question it, just let it go.
So he doesn't question it. He continues on, like they're still in pursuit of Sephiroth. He doesn't tell anyone what happened, or what he thinks might happen, or that they may very well be on a fool's mission at this point. He shies away from the perceptive way that the girls look at him, or how Barret insists they truck along and keep their heads up. He acts how he always has: cold and aloof, retreating back to his room at the brink of the evening to catch up on his sleep.
And, naturally, who's standing there, when he opens the door? It's startling enough that he reaches for the hilt of the buster sword, gripping it firmly; he doesn't want to cause any disturbance, to anyone else, doesn't want anyone to know the trouble that's landed itself into his room again. He comes in, shuts the door, and narrows his eyes in on the man standing there, nearly too tall for the room at all. ]
What do you want?
[ It's not quite as venomous as it should be--and maybe that's because it's so easy to remember how it felt to kiss him, to lay there in the sheets and fall asleep pressed up against each other; or the embarrassing, shameful disappointment upon waking up alone. He doesn't let go of the sword, strapped to his back, doesn't close the distance, either. ]
This isn't the place to fight. Take it outside.
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@soldiernoclass
Why am I having a hard time believing you?
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@soldierforhire | amnesia things
Can he even call him that now?
Sure, the Cloud that was, is probably still buried somewhere beyond the shell that almost is an empty puppet this time around, but at the same time there's no animosity between them. Sephiroth still harbors a lot of intense feelings, but they're mostly caught in an unfamiliar whirlwind. This has left him distracted from his original goal.
It'd be easy to simply dispatch Cloud. End this. Go back to what he planned. But at the same time that's not at all what he wants. He tells himself it's because he wants Cloud to witness the end in all its glory, and what better irony than to have him at his side when it happens?
Yet he hasn't made any progress in his original plans either. He doesn't know why, but somehow that doesn't bother him as much as it should.
Instead the two of them are now standing in an open field, both brandishing weapons but without the intention of murdering one another. That's another form of irony all together.
But again he tells himself he needs to make sure Cloud keeps his strength. Give him the training (or at get his body to remember) on how to fight. Cloud is also very lucky that Sephiroth took his sword along with taking him originally.
"Do you remember what I showed you?"
In all honesty, Sephiroth has missed fighting. It's one of the few things he's always enjoyed. And Cloud is one of the few with the strength to match him head on. Of course, at the moment he'll have to go easy despite the temptation.
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They're in a new place, a new 'home'. Time is limited here as well, Cloud knows, but they'll make the most of it. They train, they talk, Sephiroth disappears to do whatever he has to do, but he always comes back. At first, Cloud was full of questions, but they tapered off over time, as familiarity and a sense of realization settled in. This is his life, and nothing he's tried has been able to restore his memory.
It isn't a bad existence, even with the constant motion. It would be, if he'd been alone or with someone else, but Sephiroth has proven to be good company. Cloud's lucky to have someone so dedicated by his side. To save him, nurse him, and patiently answer his questions must be a chore, but it seems like Sephiroth doesn't falter. It's little wonder they've become close.
Today, they're training. Cloud's somewhat out of practice, but he can already feel his body remembering things his mind wishes it could recall. No matter; it can't, and so he has to learn it over again. Standing in front of Sephiroth, sword in front of him, Cloud has to marvel at the ease in which he can lift it. It's obvious he was an athletic man, but he also isn't especially tall or broad, and the sword is impressive in its size.
"Hands on the hilt, move with confidence. If you hesitate, you're giving the enemy a chance to move in. Strike with conviction, right?"
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@chocobohaired
I asked you to join me. I don't know how much clearer to be, Cloud.
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@atoysoldier
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@gongagahero
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@terrablechoices
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@divekicked
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Beach vacation?!
So here he is, standing on a beach, wearing swim trunks while waiting for Cloud to pick a spot to place all this stuff he somehow managed to make him carry. All while wondering what has become of his life to end up like this.
When Cloud first suggested the idea, Sephiroth dismissed it right away. He fails to understand the point. But apparently this is something humans do for entertainment. He eventually reluctantly agreed, though as he stands here, he can't say he understands why anyone enjoys this. There's sand, water, and a hot sun. Sephiroth's gaze trails out from the water to farther down the beach where there's a few people lounging while others swim. One of those things can be done indoors so again why are they here?
At least they're in an area mostly alone and don't have to worry about anyone
dyingpestering him.]How long are we going to be here?
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So he does have to consider it a success that Sephiroth's agreed to this, even if it feels strange (and maybe even a bit wrong) to bring him out among people like this. He could be recognized, which would not be great, and is a big part of the reason why he's made sure they're sitting far away from other people. And why Cloud insisted Sephiroth wear sunglasses. To hide those unique eyes. The hair, well... he can't do much about that. He's not about to ask Sephiroth to get a haircut. He has a feeling that suggestion would just lead to his own death.
Finally, he finds a good spot to set up. He's brought towels, two beach chairs and umbrellas, along with some food, drink and sunscreen. He sets it all up so they can sit in the chairs in the shade of the umbrellas.
Sephiroth's question is met with a low snort. ]
We just got here. I dunno, as long as we feel like it?
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Zack/Seph/Cloud shenanigans
One of which could probably get away with being around since not many knew of his death. The other? Well, he kept coming back to try and destroy the planet. That is the primary reason they are near the city, but not in it.
That and leaving Sephiroth near people is not the best idea. He might be calmer (slightly) about it now, but his dislike of humanity hasn't wavered much. Fortunately for the rest of the world, Cloud and Zack are both around to keep him in his place. Unfortunately for Sephiroth they do, indeed, do just that.
So instead of plotting the destruction of all life in a quest to become god, Sephiroth sits on the couch eyeing the news reports rambling on the television and wondering to himself why he isn't just killing everyone. He also has his hand on the remote to prevent anyone (Zack) from attempting to change the channel to something stupid. Of course the news is also stupid so in the end it's probably a moot point.
But if Sephiroth can't have control of the planet, he can at least control this. And so he shall.]
Given enough time, humanity will eliminate themselves.
[This is just random, idle, commentary given about in response to what he's watching. It doesn't matter if anyone cares, they're still going to get to hear his opinion anyway.]
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It had been a joint decision to keep an eye on Sephiroth after he returned yet again. Neither of them had been particularly eager to end up in an endless cycle of killing him, only for him to come back again. So this had seemed like the better option. Trying to tame the beast, so to speak, and so far it's worked surprisingly well.
They still don't tend to bring him around other people much. Only Cloud's closest friends even know about it.
There's definitely something both surreal and amusing about having Sephiroth seated on the couch, hogging the remote like a dragon protecting his hoard all the while muttering about all of humanity's faults.
Zack tries not to laugh. He really does, but it's difficult not to when Sephiroth is being so ridiculous. He manages to keep it to an amused snort, which causes Cloud's lips to twitch a little.
Finally, Zack turns to the silver-haired man. ]
C'mon, Seph. Are you even watching this?
[ It's easier for Zack to fall into a kind of familiarity with Sephiroth considering their past friendship. Cloud, with all the memories that aren't his own, understands it, but he definitely hasn't gotten to the nickname-stage. Probably never will in all honesty.
Cloud decides instead to respond to Sephiroth's muttered comment in a rather sarcastic fashion. ]
See? We don't need your help with that.
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hanahaki
That is a problem. One he, at first, tries to ignore. Though any plans he once held washed away with the tightness in his chest that grew increasingly worse laced with a foreign pain. Pain is something he can deal with. Something he knows how to both inflect and tolerate a great deal, but then the petals came --
Pouring out of his mouth onto his palm before spilling to the ground. His initial thoughts were anger. Did she have something to do with this? Is she responsible for this pain?
Those thoughts are what brings him to the church. Sure, it's also a spot connected to Cloud, but that's only a side note at the moment. This area is also close to the lifestream and if he could reach through it to strike her down again, he would. But he can't exactly do that. She is already dead and they can't really do anything to each other in the lifestream. Still --]
You--
[Before he can say another word, the tightness in his chest returns, which he grasps at this time before dropping down to his knees near the pool of water. More petals spill from his mouth, almost blending in with the flowers that bloom in the area. Curse her and this place. She's at fault. She has to be.
Maybe he should find Cloud. Put an end to this -- whatever this ailment is -- before it keeps getting worse. Though he's not even sure how well he'll even be able to fight if another coughing spell comes on. He's stubborn enough to try, but ... then again, will this even go away if he dies?
Either way he makes the decision to get up and to seek out his nemesis, though with how he feels he's almost tempted to call him to this place instead of attempting to move. He reminds himself that he can deal with pain, even if it keeps getting stronger. Though it takes some effort, he places a hand on a church pew and uses that to push himself up so that he's at least sitting on that instead of being on the ground.
This is terrible, and awful. ... But he's going to take a few minutes to collecdt himself and then go seek out Cloud.]
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The church is one of the only safe places where he can go--and that's because it fills him with such a gnawing, aching burden of guilt that he knows he belongs there, that he knows he has to be there, to soak up the pain and the overwhelming burn of it all. It's safer than being in Seventh Heaven, safer than being out on the road, safer than sleeping in knotted-up tents in the plains or finding safety under the broken buildings and shelters out along the bike paths, the dirt and the grass worn down to make deliveries easier. He knows, in the back of his head, that he's only making things worse: he knows that Tifa worries about him, that she calls him not only to give him updates but to get updates from him, that Denzel and Marlene wonder when he'll be home next or what he'll be bringing with him. Even separated from the rest of their friends, they too worry, and wonder; Cid comes by more often than most, demanding his company at the bar, and Yuffie helpfully dumps more and more materia in the bin in the church, using it as an excuse to see him. He can't tell them that he deserves to be alone: he can't tell them that this is the one place that he has to be, the place that, rightfully, reminds him of what a failure he is, of everything he couldn't be and everything he wanted to.
When he opens the doors, that day, it's like any other: back from his deliveries, he's here to check on the flowers that seem to grow despite all of his poor efforts to help them, flowers that spring up from the large hole in the middle of the planks and now, needing more space to claim, peek up from some of the floorboards as though hoping for the room to exist, the room to spring to life. He should see about tearing up some more of them: let the whole of the church be overtaken in the blossoms that spared his life, and Zack's, long ago, both pillowed by them from their large falls. The air is different, somehow, strange and muddied; he tries to take a breath and feels it fail, his lungs clenching, stomach twisting in discomfort. Something in him calls to something else, here, something lurking, dangerous, and painful: something that is seated at one of the first pews, folded there as though it, too, is here to pay a certain penance to the earth.
But how could--
Those are questions that he doesn't ask, anymore. Even after Meteorfall, even in the aftermath, with the sudden emergence of the illness that's taking down those that don't deserve it, the children who shouldn't suffer, he had known, somewhere, that it couldn't, wouldn't be over. Someone like that wouldn't just disappear after a battle, however hard-won, wouldn't just sink into the Lifestream and be forgotten, or forget about his own desires.
It doesn't make it any easier to see him, though. The long length of his hair, the pristine, untouched look of his armor. One of his hands grapples at his back--the Buster Sword isn't there, anymore, and he feels almost naked without it. It's perched in the dirt on the hill, still, overlooking the ruins of a city that Zack will never see. ]
You don't belong here.
[ It's quiet, laced with anger--but tired, so tired, as the church doors fall into place behind him. Perhaps this is another nightmare? Another delusion? ]
Leave.
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Sometime around Junon idk i'm making stuff up
And that's what he wonders about the most. Does Shinra fear another abandonment? If they keep the two of them busy enough they won't have time to consider other things?
He's not sure when all these doubts started. It might have been sometime after the loss of Genesis and Angeal. It might have been sometime before. He remembers when that Avalanche leader questioned what he fights for. He couldn't answer her then, could he even do that now?
When the news of Zack's return to the area reaches him, the first thing he does is go to seek him out. A momentary distraction, though those previous thoughts still weigh heavily in his mind. Though in all honesty, Zack might be the only person still within Shinra's walls that Sephiroth actually trusts. Not that he's ever let many people in close, with Zack it just sort of happened. He managed to seep through the cracks before Sephiroth even noticed and now it's too late.
When he finds the younger man, he makes it a point o walk up behind him almost too silently for a man of his stature. Because no matter what, even if he doesn't mean too, he still manages to loom.]
Zack. I heard about your latest mission.
~yolo~
For all that being SOLDIER was his dream, to be a hero, he's not so blinded by it that he doesn't see the faults, either. There's a price that comes with it all; he's already seen it paid with Angeal, with Essai and Sebastian. He can't tell if he's paying it too, watching it all happen. Or maybe he's paying it by not being able to do a damn thing to stop it.
The only reason Sephiroth catches Zack still and not a bundle of nerves and energy pacing all over is that he's stopped to look at his phone and check his messages and missions. There's a frown of concentration on his face, uncharacteristic for someone who always seems to eager. He's muttering to himself, too low to really hear what he's saying, but judging from the pointed way he hits the buttons on his PHS . . . well.
So caught up in it he is that when Sephiroth speaks up, Zack yelps and drops his phone as he whirls around, completely caught off-guard]
Sephiroth! [he puts a hand to his chest and breathes] Geez, you'll give a guy a heart attack sneaking up on him like that . . . [wait] What about my mission?
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Forhire
Oh? Then how did I get your number? Didn't you kill me, Cloud?
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@angealwings
That might be for the best.
[Then he wouldn't have to deal with anyone else.]
had to get his icons back...
absolutely necessary
i have no good title for this
Cloud could just kill him but they both know he'd only come back. So there is little point other than perhaps Cloud's momentary satisfaction.
As a result, at least Sephiroth stays mostly inside while Cloud is doing his ... delivery service or whatever else he does as a job. This is partly because Sephiroth hates people and he shouldn't be around people. He's only slightly housebroken as it is.
While waiting for Cloud to return he on the couch next to a cat that does not belong to them. The two of them watching some show Sephiroth already has decided is the product of human stupidity but has made no effort to change the channel. The cat may or may not agree.]
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For better or worse.
Take Zack out of the equation and leave Cloud alone with Sephiroth when they aren't actively trying to kill each other, and what do you get? Whatever the hell this is, apparently. They struck some kind of... weird equilibrium. There's a tension without the puppy around to break it up, but animosity seems to come more often in the form of passive aggression if anything. They leave each other to their devices, with the express understanding that Sephiroth's devices are being fucking normal and not killing anybody or trying to destroy the planet or anything like that. There are certain privileges to maintaining that level of good behavior.
Anyway, it's one of those weeks where Cloud comes home tired and irritable and would love nothing more than to take it out on his........ housemate, because seriously, it doesn't matter what his history is, why can this guy not get some kind of fucking job? Not like he has some supersoldier pension he's living on. Some Ultimate Bad Guy savings fund. He's just a freeloader. But the other side of the coin is that Cloud isn't allowed to take his shit out on Sephiroth, so even though he walks in looking put-upon with half his face red from the cold, he doesn't say anything at first. He walks by, unwinding his scarf, and into the bedroom.
He stops and walks back into the living room a second later. Never mind the silent, sullen thing. What the fuck.
His mouth opens.
Is that a cat?
That question doesn't actually come out. Of course it's a cat. He can see it's a cat.
His mouth closes.
What Cloud ends up doing instead is just giving Sephiroth a silent stare that asks so many more questions than just that one, scarf wadded up in his hand. Frankly, he's forgotten about being tired and cranky right this second. ]
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