[ Cloud can't help but to scoot further back on his bed when Sephiroth comes closer, even though he knows he's just trapping himself more. He glares at the man. ]
Thank you. [ He wants Sephiroth to leave, but he can't keep his words from sounding entirely sarcastic. Because they are. ]
[ Cloud does end up with his back pressed against the wall, glancing almost longingly at his (no, not his) sword and at the door to his room. But there is no escape, and Sephiroth is too close for comfort now. ]
[ His head hurts again. Cloud grasps at it and grimaces in pain, finally moving his hands to cover his ears. Sephiroth's words cut him to the core now that he's already so emotionally vulnerable. He just wants him to leave. ]
You'll watch her die just as you did your mother all those years ago. Her lifeless body sliding along into your arms. Steel jerked free having pierced your heart the most. Though you were standing right there. So very close you will be unable to stop it. You'll just watch as her life fades away ... softly. Quietly.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
[He paces closer as though to further make a point.]
The guilt will burn into your soul. Latching on like a parasite. Corroding. Eating away everything you are from the inside out. Because you weren't strong enough to save her then, how can you ever save anyone else? You are a shell of a person now. And one day you'll become nothing but a broken one.
[ His head feels like it's going to split in two. Visions assault him, visions of the horrible things Sephiroth describes coming true. Aerith, dead in his arms, the guilt he's talking about already eating at him for something that has yet to happen. Only now it's amplified by his returning memories. Those of Zack, of how he died protecting him.
He can't stand it any longer. He needs Sephiroth to go away. He can't handle the man's presence. He stands from the bed and with surprising strength considering his emotionally volatile and vulnerable state, he presses his hands to the man's solid chest and tries to shove him away. ]
[Sephiroth moves to catch both of Cloud's arms after the shove with the full intention of holding him in place. Not for anything physically sinister. But so that he can't run away.
Because Sephiroth has no intention of leaving.]
In the end you will be alone. So corrupted by your own agony you won't even be able to find comfort in those you call friends. What's left of them anyway. Do you think they'll ever actually truly forgive you? You never forgive yourself after all. Not that any blame can lie with any of them. You took your sword and walked right up to her.
[He tries to yank Cloud a bit closer.]
All those close to you fall victim to your failures.
[ Cloud can't help it. His eyes fill with tears, grief and pain starting to replace the burning anger in the pit of his stomach. The strength seems to drain out of him and he just lets Sephiroth hold his arms captive as he almost sags against him. ]
Why are you... doing this.
[ His voice is defeated, broken, and tears are running down his face. He doesn't even bother trying to hide it.
Maybe it would be better if he stayed away from his friends. Maybe then what Sephiroth is saying won't come true. ]
[Thankfully Sephiroth has no intention of letting Cloud drop to the floor, he'll hold him upright. His eyes stayed fixed, peering into younger man with almost the same intensity as the sun.
Despite his words, his expression is not smug, or arrogant. It's plain. Emotionless. Like he's so far detached that this is nothing more than him stating simple facts. It's more than that, but not something he lets show.]
Because sometimes things have to be broken in order to become stronger. Strength lies in what's lost.
[Sephiroth lost everything, but gained so much more as a result.]
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no subject
Thank you. [ He wants Sephiroth to leave, but he can't keep his words from sounding entirely sarcastic. Because they are. ]
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[Go ahead and move away, Cloud. Eventually you'll hit a wall. Quite literally. There's no where to go and the exit is behind Sephiroth.
He keeps approaching, only stopping a few feet away from the bed.]
Admit that you are nothing without my guiding hand.
no subject
S-Shut up. Why can't you just leave me alone?
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But you aren't. So many suffer as a result. So many are going to die in the future.
And it'll all be your fault.
[Cloud got through one point of trauma. Now to give him another one.]
no subject
Shut up! Just... shut up! I don't wanna hear it!
no subject
And there's nothing you can do about it.
[He paces closer as though to further make a point.]
The guilt will burn into your soul. Latching on like a parasite. Corroding. Eating away everything you are from the inside out. Because you weren't strong enough to save her then, how can you ever save anyone else? You are a shell of a person now. And one day you'll become nothing but a broken one.
no subject
[ His head feels like it's going to split in two. Visions assault him, visions of the horrible things Sephiroth describes coming true. Aerith, dead in his arms, the guilt he's talking about already eating at him for something that has yet to happen. Only now it's amplified by his returning memories. Those of Zack, of how he died protecting him.
He can't stand it any longer. He needs Sephiroth to go away. He can't handle the man's presence. He stands from the bed and with surprising strength considering his emotionally volatile and vulnerable state, he presses his hands to the man's solid chest and tries to shove him away. ]
Get the fuck out and leave me alone!
no subject
Because Sephiroth has no intention of leaving.]
In the end you will be alone. So corrupted by your own agony you won't even be able to find comfort in those you call friends. What's left of them anyway. Do you think they'll ever actually truly forgive you? You never forgive yourself after all. Not that any blame can lie with any of them. You took your sword and walked right up to her.
[He tries to yank Cloud a bit closer.]
All those close to you fall victim to your failures.
no subject
Why are you... doing this.
[ His voice is defeated, broken, and tears are running down his face. He doesn't even bother trying to hide it.
Maybe it would be better if he stayed away from his friends. Maybe then what Sephiroth is saying won't come true. ]
no subject
Despite his words, his expression is not smug, or arrogant. It's plain. Emotionless. Like he's so far detached that this is nothing more than him stating simple facts. It's more than that, but not something he lets show.]
Because sometimes things have to be broken in order to become stronger. Strength lies in what's lost.
[Sephiroth lost everything, but gained so much more as a result.]