[In truth, Sephiroth is not fully sure he wants to have this conversation. It doesn't matter. It is pointless. He has gained knowledge through the lifestream. He doesn't need this.
But --
At the same time it bothers him. So much was kept from him in the past. Upon finding the reports about the experiment utilized in his creation, something in Sephiroth had snapped. For so long he searched for answers, a reason why he felt so different. So alone.
An outcast among those who looked up to him. Jenova is the reason he stood above the rest. Jenova is his true calling. Jenova is his --
Mother, right? The only part of him that mattered anyway. The part that would help him wound this world and find his true calling.
But that isn't the whole story. And he shouldn't care about the woman who actually gave birth to him. She's just a human who took part in an experiment that created a ... Monster.
No. A god. Yet ... she is still apart of an incomplete story that was kept from him for so long.
There's a pause as his internal conflict rages over finding the words to even ask the question. The flicker of uncertainty only lasted the briefest of moments before it evened back out to the typical air of smugness he usually carries.]
[ there is nothing that he doesn't blame himself for in regards to lucrecia or her son. sephiroth is a living testament of his failure to protect the woman he loved. he is his responsibility — a responsibility that he avoided for all these years. after all, he recognizes that he could have taken him away from shinra and the path that he has inevitably come to walk on. he could have given him more of a life — a life that lucrecia would have wanted for him.
but he didn't, did he? instead, he chose to fall into a deep sleep because somehow punishing himself over and over again with the memories of what transpired was still easier than raising the child of lucrecia with the knowledge of who his father was.
even looking at him now, a wave of conflicted emotions washes over him. he can see so much of her in his facial features, yet there are bits of that man in there too, isn't there? guilt, pain, hate — a child should not bear the sins of his father, so he doesn't see him as an enemy. no, he is simply another burden he must carry on his shoulders.
it's all his fault.
but since he can't alter the past, he can at least repent for his sins and attempt to fix the things he has so long neglected. ]
She... [ it's difficult to talk about her, evident by the slight break in his voice. ] She was a Class A biotechnologist for Shinra. [ his expression seems to soften as he goes on: ] She was intelligent, warm, compassionate and kind. She had an energy to her that was so vibrant it could light up any room she was in.
[ he pauses for a moment as he cants his head down, his eyes downcast. ]
She was brilliant, determined and passionate at what she did. And she was so full of life back then, but...
[ but then it all fell apart, didn't it? and he did nothing to stop it. ]
[This is a topic Vincent feels strongly about. That much is very clear. It comes through in his voice, his mannerisms and even word choice. Sephiroth isn't sure what exactly that means.
But it means something.
Perhaps something he can use in future against Vincent. While Cloud is the main target of his manipulative ire, that doesn't mean he couldn't easily switch his assaults. It might all depend on how this conversation goes.
And what he learns.
Though he's still not sure why he's here. Why he cares.]
But she decided to give us both up to experimentation, correct? Perhaps you are blinded by a tinted gaze. Someone with compassion and brilliance would not condemn any life to the mercy of the Shinra labs.
[His gaze remains locked on Vincent as he speaks, though the cat-like pupils of his eyes were thin and very angry. Not enough to attack or show any other indication of what he felt, but it was there.]
Whatever person you thought you knew was clearly a lie.
[Though Sephiroth does not know either, he only makes assumptions based on his own pain and anger. His own hate towards the world.]
[ it's true that he can't explain why she agreed to the experiment, but he also knows that she wouldn't have made the decision lightly. she wouldn't have done it if she wasn't influenced, possibly even manipulated or coerced, by hojo.
the only indication of any frustration on his end is a slight crease of his brows. ]
It was my sin. Not hers. She was... [ another break. ] She cared too much, so I don't believe that she wanted it. Not really. But he— [ shit. shit, he isn't good at this. he isn't ready. ] I didn't stop her. [ it was his fault. ] If you want to blame someone, [ he meets his eyes then. ] blame me.
[ can we just get a collective vincent, no here? ]
I wasn't able to prevent her in time. I was too late. [ talking about this was a mistake. ] And he— [ a noticeable grit has entered his voice now. ] Hojo— [ careful, vincent. ] he made her do it. He used her for his own twisted ambitions an—
[ no. no, he needs to stop. he can feel the surge of anger within him and the stir of chaos in response.
he isn't ready. ] Enough. [ he holds up a gloved hand as he starts to turn away. ] I can't do this. [ look, he Tried, but he is going to bye felicia now. ]
[It always goes back to Hojo. Sephiroth never cared for him before he learned of everything. Hojo was a prime example of a twisted and terrible person and even someone as lost as Sephiroth can see that.
His own insanity is almost minuscule in comparison.
He watches as Vincent turns to leave. So he carries the burden of guilt for everything. Just what was their relationship? Clearly he cared. Perhaps too much to react this way.]
After all this, you intend to run away. Were you this cowardly then? Is that why you failed?
And what objective would that be? I intend to destroy everything and that is not of any importance to you?
[Vincent started this, he can't just up and leave. If Sephiroth needs to invoke a fight here and now, he will go down that path.
Which Vincent can also blame himself for drawing Sephiroth's attention in the first place. You know? The guy whose reason for being seems to revolve around obsessively harassing Cloud?
Now, for the moment Cloud gets a break and our favorite vampire gets to deal with it.]
[ he really did bring this on himself. somehow, his own rationality played him.
he angles his face to the side, not fully glancing back at him. he can sense his presence, his quiet intentions, and he is prepared for them, but— he has no desire to fight him. it isn't why he waited for him. ]
I failed your mother. And I failed you. Tell me, do you waver?
[ a silent pivot of his feet and once more crimson hues lock onto bright green. ]
I bear the sins of what happened to her. What happened to you. I can't alter the past. And my words, they—... I want you to understand.
[ he wants him to understand, yet his strength never lied in speech. he doesn't have the wherewithal to persuade him.
he thought that he did, but his earlier attempt proved it futile. ]
[Wavered. His goals have repeatedly shifted. At one point he believed himself to be an ancient and planned on retaking the planet. Then he realized that was another lie, though one he originally told himself.
He isn't an ancient but he'll become a god.
And he will set the world ablaze as he did nibelheim all those years ago. No one will stop him. Not even the puppet who doesn't even know himself.]
You tell me -- what is it exactly you want me to understand? Your failures? Or that my -- the woman who gave birth to me was a victim consumed by the twisted desires of a madman?
[He stares back at Vincent with an even expression, his earlier anger subsided for the time being]
[ he isn't foolish enough to believe sephiroth can be easily swayed, but he did seek him out. it has to mean something, doesn't it? even if it is mere curiosity, it signifies hope, no matter how small that hope may be. ]
I wanted you to see that... what you hold to be true isn't always whole. There is always another side to the story. And the path that you have chosen to take is not guaranteed to be the right one, just as what you had come to believe was your origin.
[ a moment's pause. ]
Your anger, your pain, your suffering — it isn't yours alone. Your mother may have been human and she may have been flawed, but you were never just an experiment to her. [ a slight hesitation. ] And I'm... [ he casts his gaze downward. ] I'm willing to bear it for you.
[Though he doesn't show it, he has been listening to what Vincent said. Though it mostly twists his anger back towards Shinra and everything they've ever done. His hate still festering, boiling, just waiting to bring the whole world down.]
No single individual can bear what I feel towards this planet and its inhabitants. Humanity is a curse upon this world. Right or what it is what humans deserve.
[A pause]
Do you believe that if you were to convince me otherwise it would absolve your failures? Your guilt? Did you know I was not the only one experimented on? Did you ever see what else they created?
[ he may not know the full scale of projects conducted under shinra after he went to sleep, but he was one of those experiments. he has experienced firsthand the horrors that comes with it and the sacrifices that must be made in order to survive through the changes. ]
I know what Shinra is capable of. What Hojo is capable of. But to take your anger out on all of humanity, [ there's a sharpness to the way his eyes snap up to meet his once more. ] that is flawed. Humanity may not be perfect, but they are redeemable. There exists goodness in evil, just as there exists evil in goodness. [ that's what u call duality, sephiroth. that is what u call balance. stop making him go into this ying-yang bs with u constantly. ]
Destruction and chaos will not bring with them peace and enlightenment. They will only wrought more pain and suffering. I don't seek to absolve my sins through you. They are mine and mine alone to carry, and I will carry them for the rest of my life. What I want from you is simply to broaden your mind. To not limit yourself to the prejudices that have clouded your judgment and look at the world from another perspective.
I don't want to bring them peace and enlightenment. I want to watch them all burn. To feel the warmth as everything is ignited into a fiery grave of death and pain. To hear the screams as everything meets an end.
And then I will become a god and do to this planet as I see fit. Humanity maybe beneath everything I am, but I can continue to rise and become something truly great.
[And that was pretty much his entire plan. Wipe out and wound the planet and then absorb the lifestream and become a god. That is what he feels he deserves after everything done to him.
It is a blind and selfish goal that revolves completely around himself. It was like he reached some sort of point where he just pushed everything away. Everyone away. As he was beyond them all, he didn't need anything else.
Yet still for some reason he was still here talking to Vincent.
And for some reason he also continuously stalks Cloud.]
And I don't think you really know anything about me. You have your claims, but offer little proof. Even if it were possible you were around at the time of my birth --
[Or how? He felt it probably went back to Hojo. Everything always goes back to him. But at least for now Sephiroth's attentions are on Vincent himself and not his world destruction plan or anything else]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But --
At the same time it bothers him. So much was kept from him in the past. Upon finding the reports about the experiment utilized in his creation, something in Sephiroth had snapped. For so long he searched for answers, a reason why he felt so different. So alone.
An outcast among those who looked up to him. Jenova is the reason he stood above the rest. Jenova is his true calling. Jenova is his --
Mother, right? The only part of him that mattered anyway. The part that would help him wound this world and find his true calling.
But that isn't the whole story. And he shouldn't care about the woman who actually gave birth to him. She's just a human who took part in an experiment that created a ... Monster.
No. A god. Yet ... she is still apart of an incomplete story that was kept from him for so long.
There's a pause as his internal conflict rages over finding the words to even ask the question. The flicker of uncertainty only lasted the briefest of moments before it evened back out to the typical air of smugness he usually carries.]
Who was she?
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but he didn't, did he? instead, he chose to fall into a deep sleep because somehow punishing himself over and over again with the memories of what transpired was still easier than raising the child of lucrecia with the knowledge of who his father was.
even looking at him now, a wave of conflicted emotions washes over him. he can see so much of her in his facial features, yet there are bits of that man in there too, isn't there? guilt, pain, hate — a child should not bear the sins of his father, so he doesn't see him as an enemy. no, he is simply another burden he must carry on his shoulders.
it's all his fault.
but since he can't alter the past, he can at least repent for his sins and attempt to fix the things he has so long neglected. ]
She... [ it's difficult to talk about her, evident by the slight break in his voice. ] She was a Class A biotechnologist for Shinra. [ his expression seems to soften as he goes on: ] She was intelligent, warm, compassionate and kind. She had an energy to her that was so vibrant it could light up any room she was in.
[ he pauses for a moment as he cants his head down, his eyes downcast. ]
She was brilliant, determined and passionate at what she did. And she was so full of life back then, but...
[ but then it all fell apart, didn't it? and he did nothing to stop it. ]
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But it means something.
Perhaps something he can use in future against Vincent. While Cloud is the main target of his manipulative ire, that doesn't mean he couldn't easily switch his assaults. It might all depend on how this conversation goes.
And what he learns.
Though he's still not sure why he's here. Why he cares.]
But she decided to give us both up to experimentation, correct? Perhaps you are blinded by a tinted gaze. Someone with compassion and brilliance would not condemn any life to the mercy of the Shinra labs.
[His gaze remains locked on Vincent as he speaks, though the cat-like pupils of his eyes were thin and very angry. Not enough to attack or show any other indication of what he felt, but it was there.]
Whatever person you thought you knew was clearly a lie.
[Though Sephiroth does not know either, he only makes assumptions based on his own pain and anger. His own hate towards the world.]
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[ it's true that he can't explain why she agreed to the experiment, but he also knows that she wouldn't have made the decision lightly. she wouldn't have done it if she wasn't influenced, possibly even manipulated or coerced, by hojo.
the only indication of any frustration on his end is a slight crease of his brows. ]
It was my sin. Not hers. She was... [ another break. ] She cared too much, so I don't believe that she wanted it. Not really. But he— [ shit. shit, he isn't good at this. he isn't ready. ] I didn't stop her. [ it was his fault. ] If you want to blame someone, [ he meets his eyes then. ] blame me.
[ can we just get a collective vincent, no here? ]
I wasn't able to prevent her in time. I was too late. [ talking about this was a mistake. ] And he— [ a noticeable grit has entered his voice now. ] Hojo— [ careful, vincent. ] he made her do it. He used her for his own twisted ambitions an—
[ no. no, he needs to stop. he can feel the surge of anger within him and the stir of chaos in response.
he isn't ready. ] Enough. [ he holds up a gloved hand as he starts to turn away. ] I can't do this. [ look, he Tried, but he is going to bye felicia now. ]
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His own insanity is almost minuscule in comparison.
He watches as Vincent turns to leave. So he carries the burden of guilt for everything. Just what was their relationship? Clearly he cared. Perhaps too much to react this way.]
After all this, you intend to run away. Were you this cowardly then? Is that why you failed?
[Baiting? Maybe.]
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sephiroth's words stops him in his tracks, yet they aren't enough to make him turn back around to face him. ]
I'm not running away. [ a long pause. ] I lost sight of my objective. You aren't it.
[ cold, but... he needs to be cold right now. he needs to be impartial and unaffected, especially in his presence. there's too much at risk. ]
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[Vincent started this, he can't just up and leave. If Sephiroth needs to invoke a fight here and now, he will go down that path.
Which Vincent can also blame himself for drawing Sephiroth's attention in the first place. You know? The guy whose reason for being seems to revolve around obsessively harassing Cloud?
Now, for the moment Cloud gets a break and our favorite vampire gets to deal with it.]
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he angles his face to the side, not fully glancing back at him. he can sense his presence, his quiet intentions, and he is prepared for them, but— he has no desire to fight him. it isn't why he waited for him. ]
I failed your mother. And I failed you. Tell me, do you waver?
[ a silent pivot of his feet and once more crimson hues lock onto bright green. ]
I bear the sins of what happened to her. What happened to you. I can't alter the past. And my words, they—... I want you to understand.
[ he wants him to understand, yet his strength never lied in speech. he doesn't have the wherewithal to persuade him.
he thought that he did, but his earlier attempt proved it futile. ]
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[Wavered. His goals have repeatedly shifted. At one point he believed himself to be an ancient and planned on retaking the planet. Then he realized that was another lie, though one he originally told himself.
He isn't an ancient but he'll become a god.
And he will set the world ablaze as he did nibelheim all those years ago. No one will stop him. Not even the puppet who doesn't even know himself.]
You tell me -- what is it exactly you want me to understand? Your failures? Or that my -- the woman who gave birth to me was a victim consumed by the twisted desires of a madman?
[He stares back at Vincent with an even expression, his earlier anger subsided for the time being]
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[ he isn't foolish enough to believe sephiroth can be easily swayed, but he did seek him out. it has to mean something, doesn't it? even if it is mere curiosity, it signifies hope, no matter how small that hope may be. ]
I wanted you to see that... what you hold to be true isn't always whole. There is always another side to the story. And the path that you have chosen to take is not guaranteed to be the right one, just as what you had come to believe was your origin.
[ a moment's pause. ]
Your anger, your pain, your suffering — it isn't yours alone. Your mother may have been human and she may have been flawed, but you were never just an experiment to her. [ a slight hesitation. ] And I'm... [ he casts his gaze downward. ] I'm willing to bear it for you.
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No single individual can bear what I feel towards this planet and its inhabitants. Humanity is a curse upon this world. Right or what it is what humans deserve.
[A pause]
Do you believe that if you were to convince me otherwise it would absolve your failures? Your guilt? Did you know I was not the only one experimented on? Did you ever see what else they created?
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[ he may not know the full scale of projects conducted under shinra after he went to sleep, but he was one of those experiments. he has experienced firsthand the horrors that comes with it and the sacrifices that must be made in order to survive through the changes. ]
I know what Shinra is capable of. What Hojo is capable of. But to take your anger out on all of humanity, [ there's a sharpness to the way his eyes snap up to meet his once more. ] that is flawed. Humanity may not be perfect, but they are redeemable. There exists goodness in evil, just as there exists evil in goodness. [ that's what u call duality, sephiroth. that is what u call balance. stop making him go into this ying-yang bs with u constantly. ]
Destruction and chaos will not bring with them peace and enlightenment. They will only wrought more pain and suffering. I don't seek to absolve my sins through you. They are mine and mine alone to carry, and I will carry them for the rest of my life. What I want from you is simply to broaden your mind. To not limit yourself to the prejudices that have clouded your judgment and look at the world from another perspective.
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And then I will become a god and do to this planet as I see fit. Humanity maybe beneath everything I am, but I can continue to rise and become something truly great.
[And that was pretty much his entire plan. Wipe out and wound the planet and then absorb the lifestream and become a god. That is what he feels he deserves after everything done to him.
It is a blind and selfish goal that revolves completely around himself. It was like he reached some sort of point where he just pushed everything away. Everyone away. As he was beyond them all, he didn't need anything else.
Yet still for some reason he was still here talking to Vincent.
And for some reason he also continuously stalks Cloud.]
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[ he genuinely doesn't think sephiroth has thought this plan of his through. ]
What do you intend on doing as a god once you have accomplished your mission? [ regale him, please. ]
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[Perhaps recreate the world. Travel the cosmos as his mother did long ago.
Or .. well, he'd figure that out when he got there. One step at a time.
He might not even be sure.]
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I don't think you've thought this through. [ just. point black. he isn't even gonna work up to it. ]
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[Which you look far too young for that Vincent.]
You are not someone I ever heard of.
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[ he states it calmly, brazenly. ]
I was there when your mother first became pregnant with you. I was there before it happened.
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[There is a tone in his voice that says: I don't believe you.]
So then what were you to her?
[Asking the important questions here]
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I was her bodyguard.
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[He is so not buying that]
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I'm 57 years old.
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[As Vincent does not look 57 in the slightest]
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No. [ a beat. ] I don't age.
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[Or how? He felt it probably went back to Hojo. Everything always goes back to him. But at least for now Sephiroth's attentions are on Vincent himself and not his world destruction plan or anything else]
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