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Sephiroth ([personal profile] sefirot) wrote2020-04-24 05:43 am
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colorofthesky: (The calamity from the skies.)

[personal profile] colorofthesky 2022-06-07 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
[ There is silence. Then, after a few moments, he just laughs. Quietly. ]

So that's what you're afraid of. I figured there had to be something.

It's sad you think that connection is all you have -- and yet the only thing you've used it for is to be cruel.

And you know, maybe instead of threatening me and people I care about? You should give me a reason to want to keep it. To see it the way you see it instead of just a thing you're going to use to hurt me one day.

Because I've been trying for months and months to be a friend to you -- and as far as I can see, you don't seem to give a single solitary shit about that.
Edited 2022-06-07 04:15 (UTC)
colorofthesky: (Empty spaces.)

[personal profile] colorofthesky 2022-06-07 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
Did you have to make me suffer to get me to help you when you got in a fight with Trevor? Or to get me to let you stay with me after Jon pulled out that memory?

Has there been any time that you needed to hurt me to make me stay close to you?
Edited 2022-06-07 04:26 (UTC)
colorofthesky: (Face your fears.)

[personal profile] colorofthesky 2022-06-07 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
No. It doesn't keep him close. It makes him hate you and fight you -- but at the end of the day, he doesn't want to stay with you.

That's what hurting people does. It makes it hard for us to want to be close to you.
Edited 2022-06-07 04:42 (UTC)
colorofthesky: (Across the sea.)

[personal profile] colorofthesky 2022-06-07 12:37 pm (UTC)(link)
A fight doesn’t last. Once it’s over, what exactly do you have left?
colorofthesky: (The flames we'll never forget.)

[personal profile] colorofthesky 2022-06-07 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Zack lets out a quiet sigh. Then- ]

Sephiroth. The reason the feeling goes away is because you're not actually building a lasting connection. With Cloud or anyone else.

The connection I feel to Cloud? To other people in my life? Even the feelings I still have as far as you're concerned? They don't go away. I carry them with me all the time.

And that's...what I want. Back then, when we were SOLDIERs, once I got to know you a bit, I felt like I could trust you. One hundred percent. And I think you felt the same way about me.

But when your first response to me telling you that I don't have a positive view of Reunion -- because of what you've done with that connection, by the way -- is to threaten me and people I care about? That tells me no matter how much I want to be your friend? No matter how much I want to trust you?

I can't. Because instead of listening to me about how I feel? You just say you're going to hurt me.

It takes two to build something that lasts...and right now I feel like, no matter how much I try to build on my end, you're just going to tear it down.
Edited 2022-06-07 18:32 (UTC)
colorofthesky: (Where do I go from here?)

[personal profile] colorofthesky 2022-06-07 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
No. I don't understand it. Because no one has ever explained it to me, and all you've ever done with it is hurt Cloud.

[ He takes a breath. ]

And that's the part you're missing. None of that has to stay the same. It can change. The Admiral gives people miracles for fuck's sakes.

I don't have to go back to my fate, and you don't have to go back to yours.

We can do something else. Anything else.

It doesn't have to be what it was.
Edited 2022-06-07 20:03 (UTC)
colorofthesky: (With your head held high.)

[personal profile] colorofthesky 2022-06-07 08:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[ There is a pause before he answers. Then- ]

You're right about one thing. If all of this changes, it is going to be because of you. You're the one who has to decide if this cycle is just going to continue or become something different. Because the Admiral isn't going to change you. You're going to have to decide that you want something different.

And I don't know anymore if that's what I'm going to do. I used to think I could go back to that and be fine.

But now...I don't think I would.
Edited 2022-06-07 20:44 (UTC)
colorofthesky: (Defying the fates.)

[personal profile] colorofthesky 2022-06-07 08:56 pm (UTC)(link)
...yeah.

I guess we will.