[Occasionally they happen. Not so much anymore, but there's something of a sense of humor buried under all that hate. Keeping his eyes on Cloud in case he falls into another coma or something, Sephiroth shifts slightly this time. As though he's thinking.]
[ It hurts. Squeezing his heart, making it hard to breathe. He doesn't even care how vulnerable he is in front of his arch enemy. Not when his head is filled with fragments of memories of someone who was so important to him, someone who sacrificed his own life for him.
He looks down, tears spilling over and running down his cheeks. ]
[It's odd to look at Cloud being so completely broken. Not that he wouldn't savor it in any normal circumstance, but Zack is another point where both of their lives cross. They both knew him, and if Zack hadn't saved Cloud they wouldn't be having this conversation.
Cloud would probably still be stuck in a lab subject to whatever tortures Hojo's twisted mind came up with. Someone who is only still alive because his work aides in the 'reunion' ..]
Shinra did not want more of their tools to escape and so hunted you down.
[ Cloud tries to wipe the tears away, somewhat more cognizant of the fact that he's crying in front of Sephiroth, but soon enough he gives up. The tears just keep coming anyway.
The memories are still fragmented, but the pain is almost overwhelming, and he feels sick. Everything he thought he knew... those lost years, all the missing memories. There is so much he never questioned, never wanted to think too hard about. How he got to Midgar. Why he was covered in blood that wasn't his own. Where he got his sword. He feels so fucking stupid now. ]
[Sephiroth was never that good at dealing with people to begin with. He's especially not fully prepared for his greatest 'enemy' to be having this kind of break down in front of him.]
You were subjected to Hojo's experiments. I imagine your body and mind were not fully recovered when it happened. To protect yourself and survive you locked away your grief.
[That is partly an assumption Sephiroth is making without going into Cloud's mind. He can't exactly say why he's not using this opportunity to his advantage or why he's answering Cloud's questions without malice, but apparently that's what's happening.]
[ Sephiroth's probably right about that. Hojo's experiments... he remembers fragments of that too. Mako filling his lungs, trapped in a tank... Panic, grief, horror. Zack on the examination table...
It's all so painful he hasn't even really registered the fact that Sephiroth, while not brimming with comfort or anything of the sort, is not being malicious or cruel as he explains what he believes happened. ]
So I... I really... I was never in SOLDIER?
[ He's looking up at Sephiroth when he asks, tears still streaming down his cheeks. He's definitely feeling some sort of identity crisis coming. He'd built up so much of himself around having been a SOLIDER First Class. Who is he without that? Did he even kill Sephiroth, or was that Zack? Is anything he'd believed to be true about himself actually that? ]
[He does feel a bit of smugness over Cloud coming to him for information. As though he's finally admitted to Sephiroth being some sort of authority.]
No. You were in infantry.
[Which is in itself a frustratingly annoying thing. To think that a mere infantry soldier was able to take him down. Unenhanced. Not a SOLDIER. Even other SOLDIERs weren't able to do what this person did.
The only person to ever successfully rise against him was essentially a nobody.]
[ Infantry... that's right. It's starting to come back to him now. He'd never made SOLDIER. Not for a lack of trying, but he just hadn't cut it. He'd been so embarrassed about it. When they'd been in Nibelheim... he hadn't taken his helmet off because he didn't want anyone to recognize him. Especially Tifa.
He feels a little sick. If he was just in the infantry, there is no way he could have killed Sephiroth, right? An unenhanced, regular cadet couldn't have taken down Shinra's greatest SOLDIER.
He can still remember it though. Thrusting the Buster sword into Sephiroth, nearly cutting him in half. The pain of Sephiroth's sword piercing his chest... He can't help but to pull his shirt up so he can make sure the scar is still there. It is. Large and ugly, close to his heart. At least he hadn't imagined that. ]
[Oh is he having another identity crisis? Sephiroth could use this opportunity to manipulate the timeline of events. Tell Cloud whatever he wants him to believe. In this state he really might.
But there's something about watching him suffer with the truth that holds so much more meaning.
Or maybe Sephiroth is just feeling generous at the moment.]
In a manner of speaking, but I would not call that a death. More of an opportunity towards rebirth.
[ The response surprises him, but it's also... a relief. His memories aren't completely messed up. But how, though? If he'd been unenhanced... The stab with the Buster sword, that had been one thing. He had taken Sephiroth by surprise while he'd been too caught up in his own madness to notice, but after that? Sephiroth had speared him through, had him in the air, and he'd just... somehow been able to turn the tables on him.
It doesn't seem like the kind of thing Sephiroth would lie about though. Not something to be proud of. Being taken down by a mere infantryman, a... nobody. Maybe that plays a part in why Sephiroth's so obsessed with him. ]
How... [ He mutters, more to himself than to Sephiroth. ]
[Because there are many 'hows' here. How did Cloud manage to kill him? How did he come back? The list can go on. And if he has any questions he should ask while Sephiroth is still feeling generous and not completely seething in his own hate.
Which is his usual state of being anymore.
Also Cloud is right that is a major part of why Sephiroth is so very obsessed with him. Because a small nobody managed to take down the great hero. Something no one else ever came close to doing.]
[ He can vaguely remember the adrenaline that had been pumping through him. The rage. Zack's words to finish him off. And Sephiroth had been injured, slowed down. Still, it doesn't seem like enough to explain it. ]
[Which is what made it so enraging. Cloud somehow managed through pure ... willpower (?) to overtake him. Even those who were enhanced never quite got to that level.]
I imagine you simply caught me while I was distracted.
[ Well, he can't argue with that. Could willpower, anger and adrenaline really have been enough to take Sephiroth down? Maybe. At least... he doesn't think Sephiroth is lying. Which is kind of strange in itself. ]
[ Really, what kind of response is that? Cloud is surprised that Sephiroth's not tried to manipulate him, or fuck with his head. It makes him suspicious. ]
It would be so easy to break what little is remaining of your mind if I wished. The fact that we both know how much you are at my mercy right now is enough for me.
[He could have either messed with his mind or ended his life and Cloud wouldn't be in any state to stop him.]
[ Oh, he hates that. Hates it even more for being true. He gives Sephiroth a deadly glare. The Buster sword is too far away for him to simply grab it without giving Sephiroth a chance to stop him, so for now he remains in place. ]
You've made your point. Now leave me alone.
[ Not that he expects Sephiroth to listen, but it never hurts to try. ]
[ Cloud can't help but to scoot further back on his bed when Sephiroth comes closer, even though he knows he's just trapping himself more. He glares at the man. ]
Thank you. [ He wants Sephiroth to leave, but he can't keep his words from sounding entirely sarcastic. Because they are. ]
[ Cloud does end up with his back pressed against the wall, glancing almost longingly at his (no, not his) sword and at the door to his room. But there is no escape, and Sephiroth is too close for comfort now. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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And what do you remember about Zack?
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[ It hurts. Squeezing his heart, making it hard to breathe. He doesn't even care how vulnerable he is in front of his arch enemy. Not when his head is filled with fragments of memories of someone who was so important to him, someone who sacrificed his own life for him.
He looks down, tears spilling over and running down his cheeks. ]
We were friends... he saved me.
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Cloud would probably still be stuck in a lab subject to whatever tortures Hojo's twisted mind came up with. Someone who is only still alive because his work aides in the 'reunion' ..]
Shinra did not want more of their tools to escape and so hunted you down.
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The memories are still fragmented, but the pain is almost overwhelming, and he feels sick. Everything he thought he knew... those lost years, all the missing memories. There is so much he never questioned, never wanted to think too hard about. How he got to Midgar. Why he was covered in blood that wasn't his own. Where he got his sword. He feels so fucking stupid now. ]
How did I... why did I... forget?
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You were subjected to Hojo's experiments. I imagine your body and mind were not fully recovered when it happened. To protect yourself and survive you locked away your grief.
[That is partly an assumption Sephiroth is making without going into Cloud's mind. He can't exactly say why he's not using this opportunity to his advantage or why he's answering Cloud's questions without malice, but apparently that's what's happening.]
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It's all so painful he hasn't even really registered the fact that Sephiroth, while not brimming with comfort or anything of the sort, is not being malicious or cruel as he explains what he believes happened. ]
So I... I really... I was never in SOLDIER?
[ He's looking up at Sephiroth when he asks, tears still streaming down his cheeks. He's definitely feeling some sort of identity crisis coming. He'd built up so much of himself around having been a SOLIDER First Class. Who is he without that? Did he even kill Sephiroth, or was that Zack? Is anything he'd believed to be true about himself actually that? ]
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No. You were in infantry.
[Which is in itself a frustratingly annoying thing. To think that a mere infantry soldier was able to take him down. Unenhanced. Not a SOLDIER. Even other SOLDIERs weren't able to do what this person did.
The only person to ever successfully rise against him was essentially a nobody.]
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He feels a little sick. If he was just in the infantry, there is no way he could have killed Sephiroth, right? An unenhanced, regular cadet couldn't have taken down Shinra's greatest SOLDIER.
He can still remember it though. Thrusting the Buster sword into Sephiroth, nearly cutting him in half. The pain of Sephiroth's sword piercing his chest... He can't help but to pull his shirt up so he can make sure the scar is still there. It is. Large and ugly, close to his heart. At least he hadn't imagined that. ]
Did I... kill you?
[ Only one way to find out, right? ]
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But there's something about watching him suffer with the truth that holds so much more meaning.
Or maybe Sephiroth is just feeling generous at the moment.]
In a manner of speaking, but I would not call that a death. More of an opportunity towards rebirth.
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It doesn't seem like the kind of thing Sephiroth would lie about though. Not something to be proud of. Being taken down by a mere infantryman, a... nobody. Maybe that plays a part in why Sephiroth's so obsessed with him. ]
How... [ He mutters, more to himself than to Sephiroth. ]
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[Because there are many 'hows' here. How did Cloud manage to kill him? How did he come back? The list can go on. And if he has any questions he should ask while Sephiroth is still feeling generous and not completely seething in his own hate.
Which is his usual state of being anymore.
Also Cloud is right that is a major part of why Sephiroth is so very obsessed with him. Because a small nobody managed to take down the great hero. Something no one else ever came close to doing.]
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[ He can vaguely remember the adrenaline that had been pumping through him. The rage. Zack's words to finish him off. And Sephiroth had been injured, slowed down. Still, it doesn't seem like enough to explain it. ]
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[Which is what made it so enraging. Cloud somehow managed through pure ... willpower (?) to overtake him. Even those who were enhanced never quite got to that level.]
I imagine you simply caught me while I was distracted.
[Yeah he'll just go with that.]
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[ He pulls his shirt up again, showing the scar once more. He still remembers the pain. ]
I shouldn't have been able to do anything.
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You have a great abundance of willpower, Cloud.
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Why are you telling me all of this anyway?
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[That's really the only reason. Cloud asked for answers and Sephiroth provided. If he wishes to manipulate him, he'll do so in other ways.]
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That's it?
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[He could have either messed with his mind or ended his life and Cloud wouldn't be in any state to stop him.]
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You've made your point. Now leave me alone.
[ Not that he expects Sephiroth to listen, but it never hurts to try. ]
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No. Not until you thank me. Thank me for helping you find yourself.
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Thank you. [ He wants Sephiroth to leave, but he can't keep his words from sounding entirely sarcastic. Because they are. ]
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[Go ahead and move away, Cloud. Eventually you'll hit a wall. Quite literally. There's no where to go and the exit is behind Sephiroth.
He keeps approaching, only stopping a few feet away from the bed.]
Admit that you are nothing without my guiding hand.
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S-Shut up. Why can't you just leave me alone?
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But you aren't. So many suffer as a result. So many are going to die in the future.
And it'll all be your fault.
[Cloud got through one point of trauma. Now to give him another one.]
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